1. Peter McLaren (5/5 Power Fists)
            This Canadian native teaches the next generation of teachers and professors how to properly indoctrinate students – Paolo Freire-style.  Thanks to his hard-charging efforts, McLaren debuts at the top of the charts.  Long live the king!

2. Kent Wong (5/5 Power Fists)
            In any other group, Kent Wong, the dyed-red laborista radical, would be hold an undisputed title for heavyweight extremism.  If Wong keeps up his public attack on everything to the right of Chairman Mao, he may still do it.  Stay tuned!

3. Douglas Kellner (5/5 Power Fists)
            Got a conspiracy theory involving President Bush, or any other member of his family?  Douglas Kellner, the clown prince of the Education Department and king of Austin, Texas public access television, is your go-to guy.  While it’s difficult to see his views becoming any more hysterical in tone and content, Kellner remains a dark-horse threat for the top ranking

4. Gabriel Piterberg (5/5 Power Fists)
            Born in Argentina but raised in a Jewish Israeli household, Piterberg takes the term “self-hating Jew” to a new level.  Piterberg has left behind all ethnic and religious affiliations for a new identity along the lines of the “new Soviet man.”  Due to his tireless anti-Israel activism, Piterberg will always be within striking distance of a top-3 rank.

5. Robert Watson (5/5 Power Fists)
            While his father Goodwin was pursued by HCUA for good reason, Robert Watson was fortunate to become an outspoken radical in a far more tolerant time.  Watson is best known for his Daily Bruin fecundity, typically cramming half a dozen wild-eyed anti-Bush accusations in a single sentence.  If Watson can come out of his shell as he did during the remarkable 2000-2002 stretch, his stock could jump.

6. Sondra Hale (5/5 Power Fists)
            The female equivalent of Gabriel Piterberg, Hale’s ardent anti-Israel and anti-Zionism stands out in a crowded female field.  Hale first came to infamy in 1982 as department chair of the militantly pro- (and personally-)lesbian Women’s Studies department at Cal State Long Beach – and hasn’t let up since.  If you believe the old canard of women earning 76 cents on the dollar to men, then you know Hale’s going to have to work extra hard just to keep her #6 rank.

7. Saree Makdisi (5/5 Power Fists)
            He boasts the same anti-Israel and anti-Zionist credentials as Piterberg and Hale, but Makdisi’s resume simply isn’t as long.  Provided Makdisi stays as irrepressible as ever, and grows into the big shoes of his uncle Edward Said, you can expect to see him continue his meteoric rise.

8. Vinay Lal (5/5 Power Fists)
            Beaten up as a child for his slight stature, Lal’s Napoleonic complex has taken the form of snobbish hatred of President George W. Bush.  With two years left in the President’s term, Lal still has plenty of time for several more venomous hit pieces.

9. James Gelvin – (5/5 Power Fists)
            Slammed early and often for his biased Palestinian classroom proselytizing, Gelvin remains a threat for the top five based on sheer fervor alone.  As they say on SportsCenter, you can't stop James Gelvin, you can only hope to contain him.

10. Adolfo Bermeo (5/5 Power Fists)
            Owing to his recent “resignation” (read, forced retirement), Bermeo has begun a steep free-fall.  In due time, the fresher, more outrageous exploits of current Bruin professors will likely relegate Bermeo to obscurity.  But for those who attended UCLA before October 2005, we’ll always remember the times we had...

11. Juan Gomez-Quinones (5/5 Power Fists)
            The prototypical Hispanic irredentist, Gomez played a leading role with MEChA as the imaginary “Age of Aquarius” bled painfully into the Age of The Weathermen.  Gomez played defender and enabler to a new generation of radical Hispanic students, culminating in an epic 1993 hunger strike battle with gutless Chancellor Charles E. Young.  With his salad days behind him, Gomez is unlikely to move anywhere but down this list.

12. Karen Brodkin (5/5 Power Fists)
            This militant lesbian feminist has hitched her star to the whiteness studies movement, and displays no patience for those who see women’s issues in a broader context than her own.  Unless Brodkin can develop a theme for her radicalism, the all-over-the-place character of her current activism dooms her chances for moving up the list.

13. Ellen DuBois (5/5 Power Fists)
            Like Karen Brodkin, DuBois has been a reliable participant and supporter of any number of radical causes.  DuBois, however, distinguished herself by co-authoring a widely-signed Historians Against the War petition with the help of usual suspect Joyce Appleby.  With a few more inspired choices like this, DuBois’ stock could really rise.

14. Gary Blasi (5/5 Power Fists)
            While discouraged by budget cuts at the UCLA Labor Center, Gary Blasi has been productive in times of crisis.  Thanks to the labor of students in his clinical law class, Blasi presented research that lead to the ACLU case Williams v. California.  If his old friends keep calling, lightning could strike twice.   

15. Richard Abel (4/5 Power Fists)
            The King of All Petitions!  As they say in sports clichés, if Abel just focuses on signing the open letter in front of him, the statistics will take care of themselves.  But if Abel can’t keep his signing pen hot, he might see a steep drop in rank.  Only time will tell.

16. Christine Littleton (4/5 Power Fists)
            Part of the UCLA power-lesbian troika alongside Karen Brodkin and California State Senator Sheila Kuehl, she’s essentially at the crest of her career.  If she wants to increase her ranking, she’ll need to push her politics a lot harder in the classroom.

17. Jerry Kang (4/5 Power Fists)
            While common sense says that Kang, a (Korean) model minority if there ever was one, shouldn’t even be on this list, you have to admire the ferocity of his politics.  There seems to be nothing but potential for this rising radical star.  If past is prelude, we can expect Kang to produce many more pseudo-scientific studies on the subject of race relations.

18. Carole Goldberg (3/5 Power Fists)
            A great favorite of California Indian tribes, Goldberg’s pro-gambling activism has been rewarded richly by the tribes her work made rich.  With the basic battles already won, Goldberg needs to find a new focus for her radical energies, or watch her rank drop precipitously.

19. Sharon Dolovich (3/5 Power Fists)
            While Dolovich rightly earned her spot in the Dirty Thirty through an unrelenting focus on softening the criminal justice system, she’ll need to step up her rhetoric if she hopes to even keep her current spot.  Her comments in many spots are laughable, but they don’t have the raging burst-blood-vessel mien of her radical colleagues’ views.

20. Katherine King (3/5 Power Fists)
            Given the promising start of an arrest at a 1990 anti-military aid protest, the ‘90s were a surprisingly tame decade for King.  Sure, there were affirmative action protests, in fact, quite a lot of them, but by 2004, King was reduced to the status of bystander as a new generation of hotheads made their political mark.  While it’s late in her career, King needs to execute a turn-around, and quick, lest she relinquish her radical ranking altogether.

21. Paul Von Blum (3/5 Power Fists)
            After four decades as either a student or teacher in the UC system, von Blum is no Johnny-come-lately to campus radicalism.  While publicly most involved in African-American art, his classes (no matter the department hosting him that quarter) come down to his personal views on politics.  If von Blum can see his way to embittering even more students with his classroom antics, he’ll be a long-term denizen of this list.

22. Rafael Perez-Torres (3/5 Power Fists)
            Despite his thin resume, there would appear to be nothing but potential for Perez’s radical career.  Perez began his career at UCLA with a bang in 1998, serving as the driving force behind the notorious 1998 faculty walkouts protesting the end of affirmative action.  Perez has been mostly quiet since that time, but this would be a matter quickly corrected.  With a concerted effort, Perez could easily see himself in the top ten by this time next year.

23. Daniel Solorzano (3/5 Power Fists)
            The unofficial research arm of affirmative action interest groups like Society for American Law Teachers, Solorzano is mostly concerned with race, specifically his own.  But pseudo-scholastic studies won’t keep him on this list for long if he won’t amplify the rhetoric, and quick.

24. Carol Pateman (3/5 Power Fists)
            This hardcore feminist offers a typical blend of personal and professional activism.  With a properly timed letter-to-the-editor, or an inflammatory public speech, Pateman could move higher.

25. Mark Sawyer (3/5 Power Fists)
            Young, radical and in demand, Sawyer has nowhere to go but up.  But after a promising start on the typical racial theme, Sawyer has been mostly incognito.  As the Magic 8-Ball would say, “future cloudy.”

26. Victor Wolfenstein (3/5 Power Fists) The original Beverly Hills Marxist, Wolfenstein’s passions for Malcolm X have burned strong, even as his dreams of a communist future crumbled.  If Wolfenstein can regroup, his long resume will push him strongly up the list.

27. Joel Handler (3/5 Power Fists)
            The Republican Revolution hit this welfare-lover hard, and his hardcore support for a guaranteed income isn’t going to restore his relevancy.  If Handler can find the gumption to play the race card, he could be movin’ on up.

28. Russell Jacoby (3/5 Power Fists)
            Too thoughtful, and frankly, too theoretical, to be much of a concern, Jacoby has all the ideological ammo he’ll need to indoctrinate his students.  Now, the only question is whether he’ll use it.